My tribe

I don't know who coined the phrase - it certainly wasn't me - but there is a lot of theory out there that to get through life you need to find your "tribe" and stick with them.  They are the people you rely on, you share with, laugh with, cry with, support, encourage, love.  Usually, but not necessarily the tribe is all girls or all boys.  Sometimes they are family as well as mates.  There is not a definitive list for the tribe and no membership rituals, handshakes or secret codes (except maybe "do you wanna grab a coffee?").  There is no membership cap and the tribe is always extending in new directions.

You can be an active member of the tribe or just fade out for a while but then rejoin when it's the right time and at your own pace.  The tribe is the group to whom you turn when you really need help, knowing it will be freely and honestly given but not with a sense of matrydom or sacrifice; and then at another time roles will  reverse and the support will be returned as freely as it was first given.  These are the people you would go to war with, or for.  And with exactly the same enthusiasm you would go a shoe and handbag sale - which might take longer and cost more. 

My tribe brings me joy beyond measure.  Those who don't understand the tribe might just see it as a bunch of casseroles, nice cards, shopping and coffees.  (None of which is to be undervalued!) But once you find your tribe you know and understand the true value of sharing the joyous moments and the tough ones.  The good stuff is better and the bad staff is not so bad.  You know there is a safe place to dump the black thoughts.  Someone in the tribe will understand how you can truly detest your child (and actually say it out loud!) at the same moment as loving him more than your own life.  The tribe will understand that when you say it's in the vault - it really is.  But if it's really important particularly for others' safety, a promise might need to be broken and that's OK too.  Someone in the tribe will notice when things aren't right, and the tribe will swing into action like a well-oiled military machine.  The tribe will notice when the diet's working - and say so. 

You might not have seen someone in the tribe for quite a while, but that doesn't make any difference.  Once you're in, it's pretty darn hard to leave.   We each find our own spot in the tribe that works for us.  Some will be the casserole bakers, some will be the funny texters, some will be the party planners, some will be the crafty ones, some will be the coffee-goers.  That's why it works.  We are not all the same, and not trying to be.  We just want to be sharing a happy place with those we love.  Not as easy as it sounds and that's why we all need a darn good tribe.

Thanks for being in my tribe, girls.  I'd tell you in person, but it would ruin my mascara.  I know you understand. xxxx

Comments

[Margaret]

HOW MUCH DO I LOVE THIS POST???!!!!!!

I know EXACTLY what you mean, but could never have articulated it so beautifully.

I love my tribe and right now I'm loving your tribe a whole lot too.

xxxxx